you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
