I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
