but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
