Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
