I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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