We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
