u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
