Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
