So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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