Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
