my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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