I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
