i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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