Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
