I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
