I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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