In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
