This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
