so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
