I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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