I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
where are my eyebrows?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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