going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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