Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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