I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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