dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
