Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
