i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
