Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
love makes seman taste better
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
