David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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