he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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