I wanna bring you to show and tell
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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