so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
