I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
