Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
