That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Randomize
