If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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