I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
