Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
