I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize