Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
