We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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