The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
