Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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