you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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