Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
