The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
