Its about making memories worth repressing
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
