She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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