ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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