Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
