HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just want to make out with him forever
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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