i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
this is an emotional support booty call
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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